Excerpt: Sex Work

From my (currently on standby) book: Cut

So now that you know I’m a sex worker, I really want to hear your opinion on what I do means for me and womankind, I really do.

Here’s how it is.

You’re growing up in the 2000s and everything is TITS, BOOBS, BISEXUAL BREASTS. You don’t even know what sex is, barely grasp gender, but you know that boys and men, all they want is your body. You’re taught the important lesson that your biggest power is the ability to give or withhold your body, it’s your greatest weapon against or reward to the drooling, slack jawed, wide eyed hunters of our species.

You’re 13 in 2015 and girls your age online are being ripped to shreds because everyone has seen their boobs. Your teachers and your parents pull you aside, push you to the wall, tower over you, and with glaring eyes and pointing fingers tell you never to ever take a naked picture of yourself, and especially never to ever send it to a boy you like in your grade who flirted with you on Snapchat who promised not to screenshot but he did and now it feels like he owns a piece of your body. You’re 13 and you’re feeling sexuality for real for the first time and that’s BAD. It’s shameful. A personality flaw. How dare you want boys to look at you, do you know that makes you? Whore.

You’re 15 and you’re growing into C-cups. You notice your dad’s friends staring, making comments about you growing into a real young woman. You dye your hair to look like your favourite singer, she’s just your age and you’re in love with her. Men online are counting down until her 18th birthday, sharing a picture of her bent over. You’ve received your new nickname: jailbait.

You’re 18 and everyone’s locked inside and you’re being told the most empowering thing you can do is use your body. Being ashamed of your sexuality is such a patriarchal notion, embrace it! You’re a big girl now, open your fresh pussy to feminist men entering their 30s! It’s what Rosa Luxemburg would have wanted. Don’t say no, what are you, a conservative? Make some money, make some porn.

You’re 21 and it’s a job. It’s the same job you’ve had for the last three years and you’re pretty good at it. You have no family, no friends, no partner. It’s just you and this scratched up 3 meter ceiling Altbau in this back corner of Vienna. You have a solid clientele and you can afford your own life and you sometimes try to be creative. And this is just your day job but everyone has a comment on it.

But they’re moot, your comments, because you’ve always had comments on my body anyway.