poem: internality

about the mind

in infinite levels of abstraction 
the mind can lose itself, 
engulfed in narratives 
			or 
			      anchors scattered, deconstructed
		
> meaning <					           
choking on it or feeling it disintegrate
submerged or superpositioned 
the one is still true when the other is active 

but take a deep breath and release 
		the tangled net of language 
				lego bricks building levels upon layers 
						we live in, arbitrarily, necessarily 

your body is present
it moves through a world too complex for your comprehension 
take a piece, like snapping the roof of a gingerbread house, and chew on it 
but know:

it's just stories. 
affect is a powerful god. 
equally real as unreal. 

your muscles remember music regardless;
your stomach starves for substance, your soul's insatiation be damned 

I've overcome emotion powerful enough to become physical 
agony pulsing through my crooked nerves 
homeostasis turned its back on me 
and 
	I 
		fell 

confronted the dissolution of definitions 
assigned authority to tell you:
	you exist 
		and this fact remains outside yourself 

despite your sense of loneliness, you remain loved;
you remain safe, even when pulsing with paranoia 

I look at you through my eyes, 
which stay stable while your mirror image wobbles 

nothing, really, means anything, 
yet reality persists, meaninglessly 

it's safe here, it's soft. 
take the jump, 
I hold my arms out to catch you
and return you to your body
who, prior to all prescriptions, held you
and still does. 

I'll follow you inside, 
I can't, but I'll prove it's still here. 
Wherever you're going within yourself,
you're still on the couch next to me. 
My arms are still around your waist.

It's just thoughts, it's just feelings; 
god, the universe, reality — whatever you call it 
it remains outside you 

truth is within you and without you simultaneously 
the world is complex, don't succumb to it 
come home to it, embrace what the current moment presents